I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
