You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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