Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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