we have officially lost it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
