You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
