i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
