Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
