You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
