oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
