in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
