is your mom at the bar?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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