I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
