After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
