whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
