Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
