i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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