Me. At least after what I've been through.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
