there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
