Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
