i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
