Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
