mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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