Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
