How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
