so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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