I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
