If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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