So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
