Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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