walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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