hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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