The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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