Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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