Buhtt sex?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
