Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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