That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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