I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
