What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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