party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
