i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
