Just fell off a train. Bad.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
