So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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