if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
