does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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