Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
