sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
