Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I understand Curling. That high.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
