I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
