i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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