i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
