You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
